This was not how the last day of school before Christmas break was supposed to go.
It wasn’t that the work itself was particularly challenging (except for when one child forgot how to borrow while subtracting).
It wasn’t that we spent 15 minutes looking for a book that got lost yesterday (which we still have not found).
Perhaps the anticipated lockdown of our city this afternoon, coupled with impending dental appointments, and unchecked hormones factored into the equation, but truth be told, the biggest challenge of our school day, and every day – is being a parent.
“This is so hard! I have no idea what I am doing!”
“Lord, please don’t lay my failures to their charge.”
seem to be my daily refrain.
There are no parenting courses that prepare you for uniqueness of each situation. Every challenge comes with no previous experience.
An ‘expert’ is defined as:
“a person who has a comprehensive and authoritative knowledge of or skill in a particular area.” ~ Oxford Dictionary
That means most mothers are not experts until their only crack at it is over.
Still (though the ideology is progressively changing), even society at large considers outsourcing the duties of motherhood to be less than ideal.
Even “bad” Moms (which are all of us) are applauded when they take loving responsibility for the children they have been entrusted with.
Viewing homeschooling as an extension of parenting helps provide me with perspective on the hard days when we get in our own way.
Broken parents teaching broken kids – of course it’s going to be hard!
They see my faults and failures and I see theirs.
All day long, there are attitudes to adjust, tongues to control, anger to manage, and repenting that needs to take place.
Choosing to turn the other cheek, preferring a sibling above yourself, practicing humility, obedience, and kindness in your own home with your own family – that is HARD.
But, it’s good.
Hard things are good when they remind of me of my inability and weakness, and help me to see my need for Christ.
Nothing good comes from motherhood or homeschooling apart from God’s mercy and grace. Experiencing that is good, even if it makes me uncomfortable.
We were meant to be dependent.
We were meant to parent from our knees.
This is too hard for me to do alone.
“Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown …” 2 Corinthians 9:10